Training my taste buds to hate avocados and coffees so I never fall into the trap of buying overpriced lattes and toasts.

Learning key life skills, such as golfing, skiing, and tax evasion, to help me always fit in with the right crowd.

Seeking out rich baby friends at daycare in order to build and maintain a lifelong network full of quid pro quos.

Interning at my dad’s place of work once I start crawling to ensure I never lack work experience.

Investing in Bay Area real estate the minute I pop out of my mom in 1993.

Contributing to a 401k while still in the womb to really take advantage of compound growth.

Making my first words, “Mom and Dad, that sounds like what they call a Ponzi scheme. Let me tell you all about it…”

Be born into wealth.